drowning

It's fine to ask..

Because people are fragile and we have tried, here, to provide Voxiferi produced resources to help anyone and everyone who feels like they're drowning in plain sight, without being able to ask for help. Because if it can happen to me it certainly can happen to you....

Voxiferi is a company founded very much out of a position of reinvention. At the age of 50 I decided that I had had thirty plus years in technology. I had been C level in major companies in the UK and the US, sat on boards and been an analyst and senior advisor. An influencer (whatever that means) and I'd managed large organisations and groups of staff. Then I went through serious trauma in my mid 40s that derailed me and made me question my place in the world. I lost absolutely everything that kept me centred and kept me feeling that I wasn't going to fall off the edge of the world.

In 2018 it got so bad I tried to take my own life. A man who had had everything material that he could ever want, who had served divorce and then been bullied hugely and it all got too much. I mixed pills and alcohol and checked out. Fortunately a friend found me and I was revived and I am here now, but the fact is I went through with it with the intention of leaving this mortal coil.

While the abuse continued unabated and no support was ever available I decided to ask for help.

None was forthcoming. From any of the sources you would expect. Until more recently a man called Kieran came along and listened and believed and whose words and guidance and support helped dig me out of a massive hole. The abuse against me continues and seems to be a field sport that knows no end, but until it does I have friends to support and I have resources at least that can provide platitudes and a hot meal and someone who will listen. However some people aren't that fortunate. And here was me ready to check out and leave two children I love more than life without a Dad in their growing up. Allowing an abuser to win. Hardly the smartest move in the book from someone who is, in everyone elses book supposedly an achiever.

Well I am proof it can happen, and that it is an ongoing battle that you never conquer but you learn to live with.

Make That Change - the podcast

In July 2020 I decided, during lockdown, that as there was no support for so many people with anxiety or depression issues in the NHS and also in other territories worldwide (especially North America) that I would design a podcast to help people just like me, in the community.

I had no expectations for it to grow, in my mind if one person listened and it helped them then that was a massive achievement I'd always be proud of. Four years on and millions of people have tuned in and downloaded episodes. I've had emails from as far apart as Rhode Island in the US to Auckland in NZ, from coastal islands in Indonesia to Dalgety Bay in Fife, Scotland. The content of the show has resonated with people, often listening in the dark, and unable to reach out to sources of support.

You can access the podcast via the online link here, or simply put Make That Change into any podcast client to search for it.

If you are worried or anxious. If you feel you have not been able to speak to someone who can help you professionally (and my earnest advice is always to try and find a practitioner who is certified to be in a position to provide guidance) then this podcast is here for you.

If you have feelings of despair, anxiety or are having dark thoughts please, if you are in the UK reach out to The Samaritans who are available to listen 24/7 and provide a thankless task with purely volunteer staff. Also in the UK we have the fantastic Sound of Silence support service who are little known, but much appreciated, check out their website for their contact details. We also have CALM, the Campaign Against Living Miserably, whose work needs to be understood and appreciated more, their details are on their website. In the West we have The Hope Project too.

If you are in North America, reading this you can call 998 or visit the AFSP website or text TALK to 741741 for someone to reach out to you.

Don't suffer in silence. Podcasts like Make That Change are not professionally produced medically qualified shows, they're simply the perspective of someone who has lived with six years of constant abuse and who didn't get any support and fell between the cracks. So I did something about it. In the first instance, ALWAYS seek qualified professional support.

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